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I have great Spectrum friends and we have fortnightly family get-togethers that are huge fun. We understand each other’s body language; eye-contact is not a problem nor is bluntness and honesty in conversation. I wish I had read it about 15 years ago, before I married my husband in 2000. I am a physician myself who has worked with many children with DD and have also been reading every book I could find on the subject since I realized Aspergers was likely the cause of my husband's odd behaviors.
We make allowances for each other's sensory difficulties and can tell if the other is uncomfortable, and why.• Anonymous said… I feel that all my time is spent on how I can make things better for my husband to cope with life. For a long time I thought it was his upbringing --with selfish, distant parents, or me, that he wasn't in love with me, or I was too emotional and needy.
Men with AS often have some of the following traits, but they will vary in both number and level of severity from person to person: 1.
However, even if they have the same qualifications as “typical” males, they may not find a job as easily due to a deficit in social skills. Sensory difficulties may mean that the AS man does not like seams in clothing or labels in shirts.But unfortunately, it is too often the case that the “neurotypical” (i.e., non-Asperger’s) wife/partner views these traits as “defects that could be corrected if the man would just try harder,” resulting in the wife/partner feeling depreciated, unloved and resentful (which is truly the downside of AS for men). As a woman with AS who has been happily married for almost 30 years to a man with AS, the mother of a daughter and four sons who are all on the spectrum, the grandmother of little Spectrumites and as a fully human being with a complete range of emotions I would like to say that it is the mis-match between different neurologies that causes most of the problems.Oh, and I'm the daughter and grand-daughter of Spectrumites too.Notice I said “traits” – not “character flaws.” We’re talking about symptoms that come with having the disorder.And the affected person often has little - or no - control over most of these symptoms.